My decision to set sail for a career in biology research was made when I took AP biology in high school.  I stayed the course through my undergraduate years at Berkeley and two years as a lab tech at Hines VA Hospital in Chicago.  Then, in the midst of grad school at the University of California, San Diego, I gradually began to steer toward a new destination: a teaching career.

Why this change in heading?  Primarily because it became apparent that my talents lay in teaching, more than in research.  As such, I harbored two conflicting emotions during grad school, the disappointment of realizing my limitations in research and the joy and satisfaction of identifying a career focus that was a better fit.

During grad school, I increasingly felt that my research talent was problematically limited.  Conducting research was a constant struggle.  To accomplish fundamental tasks such as learning the literature, analyzing data, and designing experiments, I had to contort my brain in ways that did not come naturally.  This was not new, but the sense I had prior to grad school, that I would continually improve at these tasks until I became proficient, became replaced by a sense that my innate inabilities would always hold me back.  I felt that my mind had shortcomings (foremost among them, a frustrating inability to remember details) that were a serious detriment on the job.  Although I now feel that focused skill development in these areas has raised my competence level, I still agree with the main conclusion to which I arrived at the time: that I was good enough to succeed at an academic research career, but only if I worked long, stressful hours. I decided I was not willing to do that.

My level of willingness to devote long hours to research was influenced both by my commitment to my personal life (essentially, my family) and by the lack of fulfillment that my research endeavors were providing.  Days in the lab were usually dominated by various frustrations and annoyances, and I felt that I was expending considerable energy, but not producing much useful work.

Everything is relative, and my experiences in research might not have led me to change my career course if they were not contrasted with rewarding experiences in teaching.  I had long been interested in education. I was looking forward to teaching courses as part of my duties as a professor at a research university, but had not engaged in formal teaching until my teaching assistantships in grad school.  When I actually stood in front of a classroom of students and began to lecture, I soon came to the conclusion that teaching should be a focus, not a secondary element, of my career.

I felt there were aspects of my personality that made me exceptionally suited for teaching, more so than in research.  I felt comfortable at the board and working with students.  It was fun and enjoyable, and I could easily see the positive results of my efforts.  I found myself looking forward to the next class meeting, hoping that students would show up for office hours, happily daydreaming about upcoming classroom activities.
As I began to think seriously about a teaching–focused career, the next question to arise was: “What kind of job?”  High school?  Community college?  Small college?  Lecturer at a research university?  I considered all of these options seriously and researched them to identify the position most suited to my interests.  In this endeavor, I was helped immensely by the graduate career advisor at my institution, who answered a stream of questions about these career paths, and gave me articles and contacts for additional information.  From speaking with her contacts and others I knew at these various types of institutions, I gained an impression of what each of these jobs would be like.

I decided on shooting for a job at a small college.  Also categorized as liberal arts colleges or primarily undergraduate institutions (PUIs), these colleges had several appealing aspects for me.  I looked forward to having a secure position, being a valued member of an active college community, teaching courses at a variety of levels, and working with interested students that wouldn’t require much disciplining.  Working at a PUI also afforded me the opportunity to continue doing research. 

I had one hang-up. I harbored a strong desire to make a difference in the lives of young people, especially those who had been dealt a limited hand by fate, and I felt I could best accomplish that by teaching high school.  My concerns were assuaged when other professors convinced me that there is much work to be done in this regard at the college level, and that a professor at a PUI is also well positioned to make strong positive contributions at the K-12 level and in the community at large.

With this decision made, I turned my rudder toward landing a job at a PUI . . . and hoped I would strike land soon.